Sunday, August 22, 2004

Letters to the Editor, Vol. 1 Number 1

WHY DOES THE JOURNAL OF PISSING AND MOANING HATE AMERICA?

Editor,

I am simply sickened and disgusted by the way that everything this country stands for is mocked and denigrated in your pages. The Flag, our way of life, the late president Ronald Reagan—it seems these things which are revered by millions of Americans are just targets for your liberal, leftist bile and venom.

Why do you keep harping on the Teapot Dome Scandal and all of the so-called “corruption” of the Harding Administration? This is ancient history and it’s all liberal propaganda anyway and a slur on the legacy of a fine, underrated Republican leader. Have you forgotten that your precious Bill Clinton lied about his filthy adultery under oath? I can’t wait until this administration finally declares martial law and starts putting treason-talking anti-Americans like you in prison.
–Patrick “Nathan Hale” Henry, Marinetti, Ohio

Sir: This is the first issue of The Journal of Pissing and Moaning. There are no previous issues. Take a look at the masthead: Volume ONE, Number ONE. It hasn’t even hit the street yet. We have never denigrated the Flag, our way of life, or the late president Ronald Reagan with “liberal, leftist bile and venom.” Do you simply hurl these boilerplate right-wing accusations at every new periodical that comes out, in the hope that some of them will stick?

”Ancient history,” by the way, denotes the history of events that occurred before the fall of the Roman Empire in the West, i.e. before 476 CE. Harding was elected President in 1920. –Ed.

THERE’S FAR TOO MUCH AMERICANIST CRAPOLA IN THIS RAG.

To the Editor:
As a Europeanist and globalist, I observe with dismay all the emphasis this journal (mis)places on the scandal-tarnished administration of Warren G. Harding. Your Americo-centric and exceptionalist viewpoint is retrograde to the most progressive trends in historiography, and makes for very irksome reading to scholars of my persuasion. Continue on in this vein, and you will soon render an otherwise fine journal completely irrelevant within its own discipline.
–Georgette de Mohrenschildt, Tristan da Cunha.

Madam:
Oh, give us a chance before you predict our decline into irrelevance, will you please? Read Volume 1, Number 2 of the JPM when it comes out; it will feature a slashing depreciation of the global impact of Ronald Reagan’s geostrategic policies, a diatribe against national flags, and an article on the corruption of American life during the Harding administration through European eyes. Or go stuff off, I don’t care. If you don’t like the kind of journals we publish here in God’s country, go back where you came from. –Ed.

DECEASED PRESIDENT SOUNDS OFF!

Sir:
I object in the most strenuous fashion to your making gratuitous use of my name, and to this Journal’s continual aspersions against the integrity of my Administration. I stand behind Mr. Secretary Fall one hundred percent; he is a man of the strictest integrity as I am sure events will prove.
–Warren G. Harding [deceased]