Thursday, August 26, 2004

Split Hits Century Mark Amid Public Acclaim!

According to the guidelines set by the American Media Council, I must follow any serious, "downer" topics with an upbeat, "feelgood" spot so that you, the public, can forget all about death, injustice, war crimes, the Swift Boat Veterans, Halliburton, and the Problem of Evil. Therefore—today is the 100th birthday of the Banana Split!

An expert says, "the proper banana split is built on a foundation of a banana sliced stem to stern. The next layer consists of a scoop of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, topped with pineapple pieces, chocolate sauce and strawberry sauce. Then comes the whipped cream, chopped nuts and three cherries—although Greubel's restaurants replace one of the cherries for an American flag." [And rightly so, my friends. —Ed.]

There must be some kind of glitch in the Google search engine, by the way—when I did an "image search" for "banana split" to find an appropriate picture with which to celebrate this historic date, all sorts of pictures of young women wearing nothing but gobs of whipped cream came up. Funny....